I hate emojis.

It didn't matter to you.
It did not matter enough for you to utter words. 
I hated emojis from then.
I fear, I sweat, I bite my nails, skin and make my feelings into a paragraph and send it to you but 
It didn't matter to you.
You send two emojis. 
I hated emojis from then. 
I didn't ask for you to give back what I gave you,
I hoped at least you would see my feelings.
It didn't matter to you.
It took a lot to move on from you.
Nothing helped me.
Deactivating instagram, shutting myself down, nothing helped but you.
What helped me was the assurance that you see me as one of some random dudes.
But babe, I am not strong enough to say your lover is asking for my nudes. 
A chaotic canvas I see and I painted all white to plain. 
I recall now that perhaps I did not have any feelings for you,
All I wanted was you having feelings for me.
Somehow my heart is getting heavier when I keep writing the next word.
Thank you for keeping my feelings unheard.
Thanks for helping me move on for good.

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